If you consider yourself ugly, not all is lost. I myself have gone from a solid 9.5 to a perfect 10 by focusing on these few key areas that you can start making changes to pretty much immediately.
But why should you care? isn’t it ‘It’s what inside that counts’?
‘That’s just something ugly people say’. – Jim Carey in ‘Lair Liar’.
I used to believe that looking after yourself was vain and shallow foolishly. But it wasn’t until my own personal experience with improving my looks and looking at research, did I understand how much your looks have a determining factor in your life’s success, social circle, education, and of course, partner.
Being considered more attractive makes your life easier.
In a classic social psychology study, Dion et al, found that ‘Attractive individuals were thought to be able to achieve more prestigious occupations, be more competent spouses with happier marriages and have better prospects for personal fulfillment.’
Meta-analytic studies suggest that even children are assumed to be smarter, more honest, and driven when they are deemed more attractive — and children make the same type of inferences when they evaluate more or less attractive adults.
If you were considered cute as a kid, then you’ve benefited from this bias for years, giving you higher levels of confidence later in life
Experiments have shown that we consider attractive people “as more sociable, dominant, sexually warm, mentally healthy, intelligent, and socially skilled” than unattractive people.
What You Can Do About It
I don’t believe that someone can be inherently ugly. Whilst your genetics will determine the symmetry of your face, pronounced cheekbones, and hairline, there are things you can do to start taking advantage of the Halo effect that attractive people benefit from.
Having a haircut that complements your facial proportions and head shape can bump you up in attractiveness immediately.
Everyone’s ‘best’ haircut will be dependant on the shape of their skull and facial features.
If you’re someone with strong facial features – Big lips, high cheekbones, angular jawline, then you can get away with almost any haircut and look good. You see this most commonly with the Buzzcut. A look only a few can pull off.
A good place to start is to begin by having your sides faded whilst leaving your length on top. This will take several lbs off your face, giving you a more clean, slender look.
No. This isn’t just for women. Having a good skincare routine will even out blemishes, giving you a healthy ‘glow’ that others will consciously or unconsciously notice. It’s a sign of health, and from an evolutionary standpoint, that’s something we naturally find attractive.
My daily skincare routine is minimal:
And a weekly charcoal facial scrub.
For some you may consider more, but for now start with these.
I sometimes apply retinol with a ‘Derma Roller.’ This helps with the absorption and the smoothness of your face by creating thousands of tiny micro-punctures that encourage the body to create new skin.
If you’re 25 and over, you should be using good quality retinol as after the age of 25, the body begins to age with fine lines and wrinkles. Retinol, with its vitamin A, helps slow this process.
After 2 weeks you’ll notice a difference in your skin’s plumbness and youthfulness. Guaranteed.
The Halo Effect is real. And being well dressed is part of this effect.
I don’t mean slathered in Gucci, Balenciaga, and Christian Dior Toenails by well dressed. No, being well-dressed means following a few basic principles:
Master the basics – You don’t need an extensive wardrobe of designer clothes. Instead, start by getting yourself a good pair of versatile black jeans and a basic but good quality fitted black t-shirt.
Spend the extra on these basic but fundamental pieces of clothing. You’ll wear them a lot and will be mixed n matched.
Knowing that you spend the extra on yourself, you’re signaling to your subconscious that you matter, and with that comes greater self-esteem.
Shoes – You can tell a lot about a person by the condition of their shoes. Just think back to when you see someone with worn, scuffed shoes. No matter whatever else they’re wearing, you consciously or unconsciously associated the person with uncleanliness and lack of consciousness.
You wear your shoes a lot. So it’s fine to pay the extra. Again stick to the monochromatic theme for shoes. A good pair of white or black sneakers you can dress up or down with is ideal.
Personally, I’ve been buying the same blacked out Nike’s because of their versatility with jeans, joggers and shorts.
Fit – Make sure your jeans actually fit the length of your legs. Your t-shirts fit nicely that subtly complement and show off your physique. Speaking of physique, you should be
Physique – Speaking of physique, everyone can improve in, but it is hardest because of the slow process of change through consistent training and eating well.
A good physique is attractive because it signals that you’re fit, healthy, strong, and have the resources to nourish your body. From an evolutionary standpoint, this is why women generally like the athletic male.
Getting leaner will be your biggest ROI for your physique because 1) your proportions improve with your waist-to-shoulder ratio, but 2) Your facial features become more pronounced with an angular jaw. This is associated with high testosterone and plentiful resources because a strong jaw is needed for chewing.
Posture & speech
Lastly, but often not spoken of is how you carry yourself and your articulation of words.
This may not seem initially obvious, but imagine you’re the interviewer for a job interview.
You’ve got one man who’s dressed very well, smells good, but their posture gives off the whiff of low self-esteem when they open their mouth, their difficult to understand with slurred words that are strung together with excessive use of ‘erm’ and ‘err’ fillers.
Opposingly, the other guy is dressed in rags but walks with assurance, with his chest up, looking through you with a confident but kind look on him. When you ask the questions, he’s composed with strong, articulate words that flow nicely. His enunciation of words affirms that he’s well educated bright.
Who do you pick?
The likelihood is the latter. Even in spite of the other’s guys well dressed appearance. You subconscious prejudice will assume he’s lacking confidence and competence.
Learn to speak better by expanding your vocabulary and practicing – Speak more. Learn to articulate your thoughts by writing and journalling.
Like the adage – ‘If you don’t use it, you’ll it’ is true for speaking.
Lastly, start wearing fragrances. Again, don’t think you have to drenched in Dior, Tom Ford, or Penhaligon to impress. Often, all that is needed to increase your attractiveness is a scent that of good quality and is noticeable but not overpowering. Something that can be used as an everyday wearer.
I personally use Eau de Parfum versions of fragrances as they develop throughout the day and typically last much longer.
It’s human nature to want to be around attractive people. So look after yourself. Treat yourself like someone that really matters. Present the best version of yourself to the world and watch as opportunities come your way more easily.
- Get a good haircut.
- Get a skincare routine.
- Dress well.
- Hold yourself well and speak well too.
- Smell good.